Journeys in Darkness Down the Moonlit Path - ncp

[Sephiros]

Most of my poetry I'd rather not have comments on them, as most of them are not going to be changed from the way they are written at present. This will be, more or less, the poetry I am considering for a book of poetry. I have not yet decided how to organize it. As is, some of this is brutal and raw. But then again, one cannot appreciate the struggle from the darkness of identity crisis and the liberation of self-identity if one does not understand the darkness, the black hole from which it has been transformed into something better.

That's my only warning and personal opinion from this point forward. The most important thing about poetry is to let it speak for itself first, before one analyzes it and breaks it down. I hated analyzing poetry in lit classes, because unless you wrote the piece it's hard to get the full intent of the author at all times.

Peace,
Drew

[Sephiros]

First follows a set of poems describing the mystic experience with its numerous stages, as I have experienced them.

Awakening

This was once the time for Awakening, the time in which the raptured Soul first learned of her existence, thinking herself illumined, as one of the most High. As Deity, borne into existence, true reality, seeing more than just the surface of being for the First time. Before this things were more vastly complicated, making the Toil of day-to-day life as a Millstone around her neck, that was pulling her ever deeper into the all-encompassing Darkness that was Life, at least as she knew of it.

Yes, Ma'am, No Ma'am, Yes sir, no sir, Please, thank you, sorry, and you are most Welcome; they ceased to be. What indeed are pleasantries if you have no True understanding for them? What mean they if they have no substance to the orator of them? This she pondered, in order to fully Understand what it was that she was in this life for. What is existence? What is God? Does it exist? Do I exist!? What am I then, because 'I think, therefore I am'? Can you Answer her cries for knowledge? For Love? For TRUTH?? Then do not give her any advice for she must learn on her own, even if she does not know it. But this too was in the past.

She dotted her T's, crossed her I's, and still she was not fulfilled. How can she be fulfilled in a world where nobody but her seeks for the same kinds of answers. They all like sheep have gone astray, they have turned everyone to their own wayward ways, following the Societal 'Norms', so-called. What then is Normal? Can you tell her? For she cannot even begin to comprehend what normal means, except through the cracked, rose-colored glasses that were knocked from her face. Or if she were to put on, once more, the helmet of ignorance, the lead hooves of the happy pig.

She has not found the Truth, but she Knows it is not Found in what the Puppets call 'truth'. It is merely the reflection off of the Looking Glass, and they have yet to brave past its shimmering surface, because they Stand, unmoving, so far away, like statues awaiting for the Light from the other side to shine upon them, when in fact it is barely out of their reach, like a Carrot on a string, it taunts them to the uttermost. All they have to do is take just one Step towards the Burning, fiery Brightness, and they will taste an Everlasting Ecstasy that is beyond description.

[Sephiros]

BROKEN

As I sing another Broken hallelujah
Dancing are the requiems of shattered days
Wails of nocturnes, insanity
Can you see why they move?
Can you feel their cries?
Can you perceive how this affects me?

See the light of all around you
feel the sun in its warm embrace
deep in the depths of its darkness,
sealed into the cave

Breaking free, free from sin
losing the cords of the stars
gushing from the well of blackness
shines the glow of love

Will you see who I am?
Can you feel when you breathe?
Have you tasted the light of love?
Are you blind to the colors of God?

In the light there is life,
hidden in the dark above
the same resides in all of us
turning the bitter into the most sweet

Now flows the river,
catapulting us downstream
on the black oil pathway
to the fire of the world
longing for just a drop of rain.

Why, you ask must we be
caught in existence
the chaotic churn
of all that IS?

But you have not strayed
and so have not seen that
which you are, and have
come to be yet, having
ventured farther than most
you know we are more, not
being cast into brimstone judgment.

[Sephiros]

Wilderness

Come and take a walk
in your Nature
Taste the colors of
the Rainbow and Eat
Skittles, because
there are so many
things to see.

Play the pipes
but don't forget
to pay the Piper.

Come, Enjoy the wildwood
flowers where they are then
learn to eat shit and die.

Find it in Nature and
Experience all the
Seasons of the Year
That's Reason for
All Time.

A Walk in Nature
Everyday Keeps
the Boredom Out
of your Way.

[Sephiros]

Musings...

What is life, if not a dream
Is anything really what it seems?
You ask me to be daring and bold,
yet you know not what the future holds.

Flowing down the stream of this river, called Life
is the we are looking everywhere for ourselves
except on the inside.

Little boxes, little boxes...oh, how true that seems,
In my eye, an apparent gleam of missed opportunities
and forgone dreams. I wish that you would come back.

As the snow falls on this crisp, black night
tomorrow seems never to be within sight.
Like the girl falling on the ice,
my life contains little sugar or spice.

We are all ingredients in the mixing bowl
that God uses to bake the cake of our lives,
how we are used depends on how we react.

Life is too short, tell others
how you feel. Whether it turns
your friendship into a
blazing red inferno or
an eternity of blizzards...

For love is sweet and love is kind,
Unnurtured it becomes jaded
True bitterness, divine.

You will never understand the way I feel,
But I will always remember the way you looked at me,
threw caution to the wind and we 2 embraced.

If you remember nothing else
Know that I ONCE loved you.

[Sephiros]

Still Silence of Freshly Fallen Snow

As I stepped out upon the concrete drive I noticed that the ground sparkled in Luminescence; lighting up my Marlboro Red 100, I took a drag. I contemplated the wetness that I felt on my face, as I looked at the street lamp and gazed deeply into the artificial flourescence of its light. The jet stark Blackness of the January sky Glittered without a word greeting, just to See if I would See what was the nature of this precipitation.

I was perplexed with no rays of the Moon to guide me; a FLASH of incandescence from behind me I whirled about as the epiphany of the revelation struck me, that this was the First snow of 2010.

Mine eyes were filled with wonder, my thoughts louder than the passing freight trains as if I expected a Cacophony of Decibel volume from the Heavens to tell me that it WAS snowing. Yet, I understood that Universe and Deity often Speak without words, nudge without Hands, do without tangible evidence.

Cursing silently, as my FSC (Fire-Safety Cigarette) had put itself out, I began to puff again as Old man winter continued to blow in my face. Crunch, Crunch, the grey concrete replied underfoot as I paced; I began to reminisce, to ponder, to take stock of what I had done with 2009. I had failed a class, by 1.7 points which might as well had been 100, although I had given every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears; yet, I had Failed. I had begun a troubled romance, every Monday and Wednesday a pre-planned rendezvous though the time had never been appointed by either party.

Flash after flash, the images replayed through my mind coming from the recesses of my mental record of my life (what some have told me is a photographic memory). But what means that to one who has known no other? I did not know the answer, neither did I Struggle to find one. That is just how life IS, for me anyway. The moment I recognized one Image, another would come into focus, and another and another until all Clarity was LOST; I floated somewhere between conciousness and Dream.

I have studied and read the Word of God, I have enjoyed the company of friends, I have reconnected with old Buddies, I worked my ass off at work and had duly Received my just reward. I had Found God again this year, although Seeming for the very First time. I was at Home, at Peace, I had ceased to War within Myself. For I know that in this life there are many more questions than answers, that if I know myself and to mine own self be true, then that should have been Enough.

However, within the mediastinal space of my chest cavity, Betwixt the pumping, bleeding cardiac tissue, the bone, the lungs, the diaphragm, the arteries, the veins, there is much AIR. Even though there is now no space within that does not vibrate, that does not Hum with all the boucing particles of various gaseous Chemicals, subatomic particles, energy, chi, and the Breath of Life; I feel completely and totally Empty...

Every time I think again on the last conversation I had with her, the last phone call, the last text, whatever responses had been shared between us, I feel like I have Failed yet again. As the Love that Flows out of my heart like a river glorious is unreceived, unreturned it has become a drain upon my very soul. As the life force ebbs out, the unrelenting assault of emotions, of hormones, of feelings is repelled; yea, deflected by the impenetrable Ivory towers of her embattlements I cannot Help but feel Un-Loved.

Snapping out of trance by a searing hot pain betwixt my left Index and middle fingers, I Laugh at myself. I had become so Embedded in the past that I had allowed my cigarette to burn my very fingers amidst the fresh fallen snow of January.

But how had that happened? The cold wind blowing at 12 miles per hour, the air chilled to a Crisp 34 degrees Farenheit, and the processing of the Marlboro itself should have made the Flame of the cancer-stick die; yet, it did not.

With a smile across my dimpled jaw, my ears red from bitter cold, my lips chapped and split in the middle, amazed at the sparkling besides the glittering of the slow, silent and still falling of the fresh, frozen snow I had yet to acknowledge the wonder of the Message. I lit another cigarette as I deciphered the Code, seeing the Universal life-force between the flurries, knowing that it was only My Love that kept the Flame ALIVE.

[Sephiros]

Rest of the Soul

I know everything!
I know nothing...
Authorities know it all,
but authority sucks.
Life sucks...
Nobody understands me
Authority still sucks hardcore!
I don't know who the fuck I am anymore
I don't know what to do with my life.
I'm useless.
There is more to life than my own struggles...Wha?
Struggling, searching, for answers,
for TRUTH

Choosing my own way, found out the hard way,
life is not always what it seems.
Stripping out the boulevard of broken dreams,
Taking off the rose-colored glasses,
Refusing to believe in negatives,
There HAS to be a better way!

Mindless masses at sermons,
disgruntled by hypocrites,
denouncing the CHURCH,
following Self.

Following friends, doing as they do,
allowing changes to the mainframe,
Viruses abound! My rose garden is burning!
Down into darkness,
Up into light,
confronted by shadow,
reproved by words of life.

Loved when unlovable,
forgiven when unforgiveable,
justified when criminal,
sanctified when putrid,
imprisoned within the chains
of my OWN prison.
Giving the key to enemies,
blinded to the light,
comforted by numbness,
stealing my breath.

A crossroads,
a signpost,
A CHOICE
Alone I must make.

Choose life or choose death,
choose Him or choose self,
choose Him or choose money,
choose Him or choose fame,
choose Him or choose another.

When one knows the truth, the truth shall set him free. When one is filled with love, the truth is found in his words. The difference between knowing the playbook, and knowing the reality of the game are two very different things.

Choosing life, I can say I made the right choice for me. To be like minded with others, to have unity of purpose, with one accord in one place, the household of faith from which I have never beheld with such beauty as I now see it, and how much more beautiful it becomes each and every day.

There is no teacher like experience, wisdom is greater than knowledge, and Word is power. The spoken words, the written words, the words of our bodily conversations speak volumes each day.

Logos = truth, life, happiness, power, abundance, hope, peace.
I traded confusion for peace
Doubts, worries, fears for power, love, sound mind
Death 4 Life
Hate 4 Love

Without balance, there is self.
Without self, there is humility.
Without pride, there is power.
Without weakness, there is no fear.
Without fear, the possibilities are ENDLESS...

I know who I am, at last my soul is at peace as the old man is allowed to requiescat in pace.

[Sephiros]

So, you think you're in love?
You have no concept of what love IS!
Love is sweet roses in green fields
it is also the thorns that come with them.
When the thorns prick your fingers
you can decide to let that stop you from
caring for the roses, or you can think
about how much joy they bring you.